Friday, December 31

I wish you would look past every
"It's okay, you can spend time with your friends, I won't disturb you."
"I'm fine, don't worry about me."
"It's okay, I know you're busy."
"I'm fine, you can talk to me later."
"It's okay, I was just wondering if you got my text."
"I'm fine, I'll just do something else while waiting."
"It's okay, I understand."

And realise that by that,
I do understand, it's just that I may want a liiittle more of your attention. Just a little bit more won't hurt right? And you know, if you show that you actually want to talk to me and made more effort in our conversations that would be cool, yeah.

Thursday, December 30

"'Cause honest opinion, he could/would have got whoever he wants but he chose you."

"Jealousy is one thing and being overprotective is another. Jealousy is when 1 is in love and wants him to be happy, but also wants him to be happy with you. Overprotective is when 1 wants to be in control of the relationship without caring whether he is happy or not as long as he is with you."

If a guy doesn't get jealous, then there can be 3 answers
1: He is just acting not to be jealous but actually is
2: I forgot give me a while to think
3: Like what I said just now, something is wrong
Ah I got 2
2: He doesn't get jealous because he trusts you and knows that you wouldn't go for other guys :')

Sunday, December 26

He broke up with you, right? After telling you he loved you and calling you pet names like baby and cutie? Yeah, I know he lavished you in compliments, only to put himself down so you would stroke his fake low ego. Did he tell you that you were beautiful? I bet he promised you a personalized song. Or maybe he’d always mention how he was lying in bed and wished you were there. He dragged “I love you” out of you, didn’t he? Yeah, don’t deny it. He would talk to you last thing at night and first thing in the morning. He constantly mentioned losing sleep over you, every night, but we both know he slept like a rock. He made you love pictures that were just sort of “bleh” before. Did you delete those pictures after he broke your heart? Yeah, me too. All of your friends hate him now, don’t they? Remember how happy they were for you? They warned you. Just remember, it’s okay to cry. And referring to him as “asshole” is perfectly expected. Because, trust me, you’ll end up talking about him just as often, if not more, than before the break up. There will be the “one time”s and the “I remember”s, and once you think you’re over him, watch out. You better keep your eyes closed in the hallways, because I promise you, the next time you see him, he’ll be all over some other girl. A little part of you will want to warn her, but nobody will blame you for hating her and for blaming her for your pain. Yeah, you’ll compare all guys to him, because aside from the man-whorish, heart-breaker thing, he was perfect. He was everything you had ever wanted. Or maybe you made that up. Maybe, the second he started to show interest, you made up this perfect guy in your head, and he just happened to be just like him. Listen, you will find the perfect guy for you just like everybody says you will, and it will be soon. Okay, so I didn’t believe it either, but I’m starting to.The most important thing though is don’t let him know he hurt you. Don’t let him know he could have you back in a heartbeat. Don’t give him that satisfaction. Make him think you’re completely happy. When he decides to wave at you like nothing ever happened, wave back, sure. But don’t smile. Make him think he meant as little to you, as you obviously meant to him.

(via whiteblankpagexo4)

Thank you, Esmeralda Noor :)

I still can't believe it. I'm not even.. happy. Not yet anyway. I feel satisfied, very satisfied, but I just don't feel.. happy. No idea why. Can't quite grasp it yet, maybe. Oh well.

So after results, went to OU with Mira, Seri, Nadd, Azraa and Ksherah. Did nothing much really just shopped and ate. It was nice though. Next time we go out (+ le tablem8s!) we go karaoke + movie + laser tag kkkkk. Wao so much money suddenly.

Went home at around 4 cause didn't have transport to go home anytime after. Took a much needed nap and got ready for dinner at Curve. Ate at Tony Roma's! Yummm. Went home and slept pretty early. Wait. Or did I sleep late? I swear I don't remember much from Thursday o.o

Next day (yesterday), basically shopped for school essentials. Bought exercise books at school, stationery and revision books at MPH.. I think that's it. Got a haircut too! Fixed my fringe and well got only about 1 inch of my hair cut off. Can't really notice the difference but I kinda like it :D

Went home and got ready for Marie's. SO CONFUSING LOL had to call her literally every 10 minutes for directions. It took me an hour to finally get to her house hahaha. Was the first one there so chilled in her room and hehe hijacked her Facebook, Formspring and Twitter.

Everyone else came soon after. Ate (the food was goooooooooood) and talked. And played Cooking Mama and nerf gun and camwhored. :D Fun, really ;) Tharma sent me home that night, thank you Aunty!

So today, ate lunch at home and left for Sunway Giza with the family for karaoke! It was much better than I expected. They had McFly and Busted songs ok aaah awesome.

Sang to Crashed The Wedding and I realised how much I miss these boys.

I can't believe the official music video isn't on YouTube aiyo what is this la. But they broke up before YouTube even existed I think sooo. Heh. I don't know anyone who likes them, even. So sad.

THEY ALSO HAD CAN I HAVE THIS DANCE LOLOL HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 FTW. So syok sendiri sang that alone cause noone wanted to sing with. Nevermind.

:') !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know why noone else likes this song. Lol.

Went to OU to collect movie tickets for Tron Legacy tomorrow, shopped a bit and had dinner at BBQ Chicken. Left at around 10.30, took a drive around Damansara Perdana before finally heading home.

By the way, I haven't gone home in ages. It's been over a month in fact. Since before we went to Australia, we've been staying at Wan's. I miss home. A lot.

The past three days have been pretty much great. Really. I hope the rest of the year will be like this, if not better. Can't afford to feel shitty or whatever when the year's so close to ending :)

It's 12.08am on Sunday right now and I think I should be sleeping soon. Tired, but.. Hm nah I'll prolly sleep late again. K bye.

And to those who celebrate it, hope you had a merry christmas! ;)

Wednesday, December 22

"I'm not sure I believe in the term soul mate, at least not in the way others seem to.
I think people come in and out of your life
and each and every person is meant to teach you something."

Tuesday, December 21

How much prettier can you get, Taylor Swift?

You came along and you changed everything.
Maybe there was once a time where whatever my friends thought played a part in my decisions, but that time has long passed. Everyone changes eventually. They changed, I changed too. I guess once I stepped back from that person I used to be, the one that lived for other people, I found out who my real friends were. All I had to do was look around, at who still remained. One flip through my phone contact list, I could already pick out who I would call, and who I wouldn't, who would answer and who would press ignore.

I was just, simply put, tired. Tired of making decisions to suit anyone other than myself, tired of being used as my so called "friends"'s stepping stones, just another person who they could use to get to where they wanted to be.

Once again, don't bother approaching me, asking who this is about.

If you play with fire, you'll be the one feeling the heat.

(via Nadiah Ramli)

I was enchanted to meet you

I'm not good with words. Looking back at my drafts, there are a few posts I've written halfway but never got around to finish and actually publish it. Not to mention how horrible my grammar is, therefore lack of confidence in blogging, heh.

So, PMR results will be out in two days. Nobody seems to believe me when I say I have zero confidence in getting straight As. Seriously. I really don't think I can get straight As. Of course I WANT the straight As, heck, if I could I would've worked so much harder if I knew I'd be feeling like this two days before results come out. I'm pretty sure it's the same for some (or most) other people.

Also, I have this feeling that karma's gonna get back at me for how I've been this year. Not the best person, that's all I can say. Especially for the past two months between PMR and results. Enough about that.

There's only 10 more days left in 2010. Time flies by fast. Wow.

So how was 2010 for me? Much better than I expected. Last year, all I could say about 2010 was "2010's gonna suck, PMR PMR PMR" But really, this year hasn't been all that bad.

I joined Nirmala's tuition. That's gotta be one of the better decisions I've made this year, if not the best. I met so many new people that I'm still friends with now. Close friends in fact, and I hope it'll stay that way for a long time. You know who you areee. :)

I learned to appreciate things better. It may not show but really, I do appreciate things and people more now.

I have learned to be more trustworthy. I admit, before this it was pretty hard keeping things to myself but sometime ago I went through my stack of magazines at home and there was one Smash Hits magazine issue from 2004 (I think). There was this Girls Aloud interview. If I'm not mistaken Nadine said something like "I keep secrets because I know how it feels when people don't keep mine. And I don't want to be the person who doesn't know how to keep secrets. So I believe that if I keep other people's secrets, they'll keep mine." Or something around those lines. I also have another reason why I think I can keep secrets now but I'd rather keep that to myself, haha it's pretty embarrassing.

Family? I can't thank them enough. For everything.

Friends? Well. Where do I start? I admit I haven't been the best friend to the ones who matter this year, and I really don't know how to explain myself for that. I've changed, I know. But not all for the worst. And there are some people whom I'd rather not mention their names, who just don't get that. Sure, I've made new friends. But everyone else has as well. And of course when you make new friends, you get to know them better and you talk to them more. Of course when this happens the whole "drifting apart" from your other friends happens as well. I'm tired of getting blamed for that. I know half the things that are being said behind my back. If you're really my friend, you'd understand. It's not that I don't care about you anymore, that's not even close to what I feel. I try to understand all of you, I swear I do. And drifting apart is honestly inevitable. Change is as well. But if the friendship you once had and hopefully still do have with someone is strong, that won't matter. 'cause no matter what happens, you'd still be there for each other, through thick and freaking thin.

I guess that brings us to how I've changed. Contrary to what most people believe, I'm not that open with my feelings as I was before. There are quite a number of people (I'd like to believe I trust) who I do tell them what's on my mind especially when I'm feeling like crap, but there's a whole lot more to that. I've never really told anyone everything about myself. Obviously there are some things you gotta keep to yourself, right? But what I mean is, I guess I don't trust anyone enough to tell them about how I really, really feel sometimes. Get me? No? I don't think so.

"Because at the end of the day, the only person you can trust is yourself."

True in some ways, but sometimes I doubt if I can even trust myself. And it's hard to really trust others because when you do, you're putting yourself in risk of getting hurt. In fact, you know you're gonna get hurt eventually when you trust someone, you know? But I guess even so, there are some people who are worth getting hurt for.

Damnit, I'm beginning to talk crap. Hahaha. What happened to talking about 2010?

There's really nothing much to elaborate I guess. Studies? We'll see how that goes this 23rd. Fingers crossed.

Monday, December 20

This is the potential break up song~

It's 9.05am on a Monday morning and

PMR results are coming out in three days.

I'm sorry, I just had to. How did I spend my weekend? Well tbh only Sunday's worth talking about as on Saturday I did nothing but laze around the house. As usual. Heh.

Sunday 19th December 2010

Woke up and got ready and by noon left for Prince Court Medical Centre in KL. The hospital's owned by Petronas and holy shit it's one of the nicest hospitals I've ever been to. Probably the nicest actually. We were there cause Ayah had to give some motivational medical talk to the medical students / students who just finished their SPM who wanted to take up medicine. Something like that.

His talk was pretty cool I guess. So many lame jokes I don't know where to hide faaace -.- There was this cute chinese guy (in a suit okay!!!!!! :D). I think he's mixed something heh heh he reminded me of Nicholas Hoult.

Oh yes.
But obviously Nicholas Hoult is better looking la eheh.

So after the talk left to Sri Kota Medical Centre in Klang I think cause Ayah had some patients to visit. Ate at the cafeteria and then left for Wan's.

By that time it was already 7pm and we had an hour to get ready for dinner at the clubhouse with Ayah's patient.

So blablabla, had dinner at Jojo? Some new Italian restaurant there. Food was good, people were nice. I think we stayed there til about 11pm heh. In the car on the way to Wan's Mommy told me that Ayah's patient is Tun Mahathir's son in law and the girl I was talking to is his granddaughter who is studying in Australia and has been studying there since she was 14, I think. Also, this other guy and his family who joined us for dinner is some big person at Naza? Yeah. And I had no idea o.o Pretty cool :D

I have a feeling today's not gonna be such a bad Monday. We'll see how that goes :)

Friday, December 17

#nowplaying Sorry's Not Good Enough

You're a dreamer and dreaming's what you do

Nadd, Mai, Neesha, Aliah, Neena, Aqila, Eli, Nad, Aisyah, Karyna, Me, Huda, Mira

2009, I miss

Thursday, December 16

We'll be a dream

Sleptover at Karyna's house last night.

We camwhored,

Lipsynced and "danced" to Party in the USA, recorded it and UPLOADED IT ON FACEBOOK woo!,

Went to OU and watched Hantu Kak Limah Balik Rumah,

Lol one of the weirdest Malay movies I have ever seen. I don't understand Malay humour.

Played Hotel 626 (and completed it!),

Ate Maggi and stalked people until 5am.

The next day (today!) Nadd came over. Stalked people some more, ate lunch and left for Sunway.

Met up with Nad YEAY. Karaoked for about 2 hours, sang to songs by Avril Lavigne, Simple Plan, Blink 182, Green Day, Taylor Swift etc. It was pretty fun hihi, lost our voices. Would've been sooo much better if the rest of le tablemates came though.

Walked around after that, and went home at about 6pm.

Had a good time

So tired. Gonna watch Pirates of the Carribean 2 with the cousins and siblings now.

I iz a happy gurl tonight. :)
Just kidding.

Monday, December 13

Nobody understands.

There are limits to everything.

I know you're pretty and everyone loves you and such, but it doesn't give you the right to discriminate other races / religions. Hurtful comments like that, keep it to yourself next time. I don't see how posting it all over Facebook helps. You're just triggering other people's anger, really.

Terasa a bit.

I'm jussayin'.

Sunday, December 12

'cause everyone's got troubles, that's the way the story goes

You don't have to have money,
To make it in this world
You don't have to be skinny baby,
If you wanna be my girl.
Oh you just got be happy
But sometimes that's hard
So just remeber to smile, smile, smile
and that's a good enough start

What I've been listening to lately.


Wednesday, December 8


I haven't blogged in aaaaaaaaaaages.
I don't think anyone's on Blogger anymore.
I don't even think anyone reads blogs anymore.

I'll be back, when I find something to blog about :P